I don't think "fake niceness", empty compliments, and subterfuge are tenets of empathy or what the author was trying to express.
The author provides this example interaction:
Person A: I like this band.
Person B: They're okay.
Where you might have implied that the author is saying it should've happened like this:
Person A: I like this band.
Person B: Yeah, they rule!
I think the author and the case for empathy were thinking along the lines of something more like this:
Person A: I like this band.
Person B: Have you ever seen them live? (Begin convo fork into live shows
you've both seen. Share experiences.)
That's how you build value and connect with people.
"They're okay" is not honesty. There's no virtue in arbitrary judgement that does nothing but punish people for revealing their joys to you. It just squanders the opportunity where a connection could've been made.
I think empathetic social skills very much encompass the appreciation of honesty, and connecting with the emotional state of others does require self-control over your own state.
The author provides this example interaction:
Where you might have implied that the author is saying it should've happened like this: I think the author and the case for empathy were thinking along the lines of something more like this: That's how you build value and connect with people."They're okay" is not honesty. There's no virtue in arbitrary judgement that does nothing but punish people for revealing their joys to you. It just squanders the opportunity where a connection could've been made.
I think empathetic social skills very much encompass the appreciation of honesty, and connecting with the emotional state of others does require self-control over your own state.