I genuinely can’t remember having laughed at well written prose in a long time, thanks for sharing [0]. OP is gold too.

Takes me back to my high school days when I would have to choke down my laughter as I surreptitiously read Cracked.com articles in class

Reminded me of Dennis Lee too

[0] https://foodisstupid.substack.com/p/escargogurt

My God I havent struggled to contain laughter in a public place like this before. Thanks.

Reminded me a lot of Steve, Don't Eat It! (modulo twenty years of progress in being less deliberately over the top online):

https://web.archive.org/web/20180712104826/http://www.thesne...

Well that kicks me right in the memberberries. The Beggin, Lettuce, and Tomato sandwich was a classic. https://web.archive.org/web/20180712104821/http://www.thesne...

In the same vein, this had me rolling https://cernius.substack.com/p/finger-lickin-good

Dave Barry was my favorite columnist as far back as age 8 or 9. He's so funny.

I have not laughed this hard in ages. I am in love with this author.

A genuine lol, for both the OP and for [0]