The scenario isn't about the lying, I was just anticipating the argument that the standup wouldn't improve communication if someone wanted to subvert it. The basic situation---a teammate who isn't communicative---can only be 'fixed' by getting him to communicate. You might argue that I fire him and spend weeks looking for someone who codes as well, or alternatively hire a 'communication coach' to help him with his personal problem (I'm not sure what solutions you're offering) but I prefer the vastly simpler option of just having a standup. Which also solves the problem of good communicators who don't realize they've got something worthwhile to communicate.
We don't do standups to fix broken team communication. We do standups to augment ordinary team communication. If you've got an uncommunicative team member, that's not unusual. If you don't have an uncommunicative team member, now that's unusual.
If, as a manager of 5 teams, you feel like you need a direct, daily report of what every person on every team does, your life is going to be hard.
I may or may not need the report, but I want to make sure that every member of every team knows what's going on on their team. That's not adding process for process' sake, it's just ensuring communication rather than leaving it to chance or some utopian vision of human nature. A 15-minute standup isn't going to hurt a good team's productivity, while it could greatly improve the productivity of a mediocre team.
It can send a powerful message that the team is not responsible for producing the software.
Could you elaborate? I have a hard time imagining how spending a few minutes describing your progress and your immediate plans could possibly give you the feeling that you're no longer responsible for what you're working on. It seems to me that not ever being asked about what you're doing would powerfully convey that message.
Daily stand ups would be stupid in my current project.
Professionals should have a broad responsibility for the end result and appropriate freedom over the approach taken.
Externally imposed process creates a situation where professions are responsible for executing that process.
People ask dumb questions like "Is this Agile?". Who cares? The correct question is "Is this what makes sense to get the right outcome?"
My personal experience is daily stand ups are used as a tool to mandate a start time. This time was been inconvenient for staff with young children to drop at school. I remember hearing the sigh or relief from a person when they were dropped.
A 15-minute standup isn't going to hurt a good team's productivity, while it could greatly improve the productivity of a mediocre team.
It takes a lot to noticeably hurt a good team's productivity. But it's mean, just fucking mean, to punish a good, productive, communicative team with more process because you also manage crappy teams.
[I]t's mean, just fucking mean, to punish a good, productive, communicative team...
I didn't say standups don't benefit good teams; quite the opposite. You've missed (or ignored) my point that even good communicators miss conveying important information sometimes. And if the team is really so naturally communicative, they're hardly going to view a standup as punishment. Again, I have to really wonder what kind of standups you've been subjected to that would trigger your revulsion. It's like being violently opposed to eating with a fork. Technically, no, you don't need one but it often helps. Either way, it's nothing to get worked up over.
Oh, I agree. My language was for emphasis, not representative of an emotional state. It's interesting to talk to someone who thinks that the same process can save a bad team and make a good team better. That though had certainly never occurred to me.
We don't do standups to fix broken team communication. We do standups to augment ordinary team communication. If you've got an uncommunicative team member, that's not unusual. If you don't have an uncommunicative team member, now that's unusual.
If, as a manager of 5 teams, you feel like you need a direct, daily report of what every person on every team does, your life is going to be hard.
I may or may not need the report, but I want to make sure that every member of every team knows what's going on on their team. That's not adding process for process' sake, it's just ensuring communication rather than leaving it to chance or some utopian vision of human nature. A 15-minute standup isn't going to hurt a good team's productivity, while it could greatly improve the productivity of a mediocre team.